Honey, You are Faboo
by Good boy-chan
Summary: Yumichika has just returned from shopping in the World of the Living when he spots the most fabulous person that he has ever seen! Just who is this person?


**Hello people! I just finished reading Bleach (well, as far as it's gotten) and I absolutely loved it! I especially loved Ikkaku and Yumichika...they're so great. So here is my oneshot about them (mainly Yumichika).**

**I do not own Bleach. If I did, Ikkaku and Yumichika would be so gay for each other it's not even funny. And Zaraki would have more shirtless scenes.**

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It had been a trying day for Yumichika. Being the most gorgeous being on the planet is harder than it sounds, and boy did Yumichika know it. He had insulted Ikkaku for his cue-ball of a head (multiple times), fought a couple of guys who called him ugly (fighting is always a great stress-reliever...it also clears up pores!), and went shopping with Rangiku in the World of the Living for some new summer clothes (because everyone knows that spring clothes is so different from summer clothes that there should be a law about it, which unfortunately Head-Captain Yamamoto refused to pass).

Yumichika tossed his clothes from Juicy Couture, Abercrombie & Fitch, Banana Republic, Macy's, Nordstrom's, and Sears on the couch. While Japan was great and all, Yumichika just loved going to the United States of America to shop. After all, there were so many odd and oddly dressed people there that were fun to make fun of.* Not to mention there was a mini amusement park in one of the malls. Minnesota, was it...? But no matter.

He needed a shower, and he needed one _now. _Otherwise his gorgeous hair would turn into a hideous afro! Then he would be forced to wear a backup wig, and let's face it - those things itch like hell. He was also extremely sweaty (he and Rangiku had raced to store after store as fast as they could without Shunpo), which was just plain _gross_.

Sighing with exhaustion, he headed down the hallway...and backed up when he saw an absolutely beautiful being. Why, this person's beauty rivaled his own!

"Hello, there, lovely," he said, flipping his hair in a flamboyant manner. "And what's your name?"

"Teehee," the person giggled. "Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Oh ho!" Yumichika let out a small chuckle. "You're feisty. As well as gorgeous. I like you!"

"Oh, honey, I know I'm beautiful," the person replied. "And I _love_ what you've done with those feathers."

"Why thank you!" Yumichika batted his eyes in a flirtatious manner. "You really are charming. And beautiful. Why haven't I met you before?"

"I have no idea! God, we have so much to talk about."

"I know! Like hair and clothes and gossip!"

"Totally!"

Yumichika was still talking when Ikkaku came in to tell him that Zaraki was calling all of the 11th Division for a meeting.

"Hey, Yumichika," Ikkaku's voice called out. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the back, and I'm only talking to the most marvelous person in the world…besides myself," Yumichika replied.

He could hear Ikkaku sigh. "You're talking to your reflection again, aren't you?"

"So what?" Yumichika shot back haughtily. "You're just jealous because you don't have as beautiful hair as I do…cue-ball."

He could almost hear Ikkaku's vein throbbing angrily. "What…what did you call me?"

"Are you deaf as well now, ugly? C-U-E-hyphen-B-A-L-L. Cue-ball."

"THAT'S IT!" Ikkaku pulled out his Zanpakuto. "DIE, YOU STUPID PRETTY BOY!" He raised Hozukimaru over his head, ready to slice Yumichika in half…

"Huh?" Yumichika's Zanpakuto was blocking his own.

Yumichika sighed. "I heard Zaraki calling us. Seriously, how could I not? Plus Yachiru kept yelling 'This way, Ken-chan!'" Yumichika's voice reached an unbearably high pitch when trying to imitate Yachiru. "Our captain's probably lost right now."

Ikkaku sheathed Hozukimaru. "Yeah, you're probably right…let's go save him from whatever dead end the lieutenant's got him into."

"Yup." Yumichika turned around back to the mirror. He winked and blew a kiss at his reflection. "Bye, gorgeous!"

"Goodbye, beautiful!" his reflection responded. Yumichika waved bye and walked out the door, Ikkaku trailing him.

"I will never understand you," Ikkaku said.

Yumichika sniffed haughtily. "You don't have to. You're too ugly to realize the beauty that I and I alone have."

"I'll let that slide this time," Ikkaku growled. "Oh yeah…why were there shopping bags on your couch?"

Yumichika's face reddened, which really did nothing for his complexion. "N-nothing!"

"You went shopping in the World of the Living with Rangiku again, didn't you?"

"N-no I didn't! Shut up!"

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***Yumichika's views do not coincide with mine own. I love my weird fashion sense, but this is something that I think that Yumichika would do.**

**I'm so glad that I read Bleach. :D**

**Review please!**

**~Wishing I was in the 11th Division because there's Yumichika, Ikkaku, and the uber-sexy captain Zaraki.**


End file.
